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Many newlyweds are often worried about their future relationship with their in-laws.
The first thing you need to do is tell yourself that you will make every effort to love and get along with your in-laws. Remember that they are also in an awkward position and may be just as nervous as you.
Follow these tips to ensure a healthy relationship between both families.
"I heard my mom’s sister’s husband’s cousin’s mother-in-law was HORRIBLE…”
Think of every horror story anyone has ever told you about an evil mother-in-law and then throw them all out the window. The horror stories are more entertaining than the happy ones, ensuring that they get passed along more often. Don’t let them get to you or mold your personal relationships. This is easier said than done, which makes it such an important piece of advice.
Talk to your spouseShare all your concerns and fears about your in-laws with your spouse and you may find out that many are irrational. You may think that your mother-in-law doesn’t like you, but your spouse may be able to tell you that his mom was bragging about you at the last social event. No one knows your in-laws better than your spouse, so make sure to communicate openly.
Cultural and Generational DividesYour in-laws may be much more traditional than your own parents; or they make speak different languages and come from different cultural backgrounds. This situation requires a lot of flexibility and compromise, but there is no reason why you cannot create a beautiful relationship. You may not speak Hindi, but you can always rent a Hindi movie with subtitles and go over to watch it with your in-laws. We’re sure they’ll appreciate your effort.
Momma’s Boy
Yes, chances are you ladies out there will be marrying a man who fits into this category. Your mother-in-law may think that no other woman could possibly take care of your husband as well as she can. On the other hand, she may expect you to do everything for him as she has done for the past 25+ years. This is where it is important to set boundaries. Tell your husband how you feel and make sure he supports you when you talk to your mother-in-law about how times have changed. At the end of the day, remember that your husband will have a very special place in his heart for his mother so you should try to steer clear of causing any major tension between them.
Daddy’s Little Girl
Men will also have to deal with the father-in-law who thinks that his daughter is a princess (not that you grooms don’t already think this!) It is very difficult for many fathers to hand their daughters away to another man. You must make every effort to show your father-in-law how much you care about his daughter and how you will be there for her, just as he has been. It is also important that you try to build a unique relationship with your father-in-law so he feels comfortable talking to you openly. This will only make him trust you with his daughter more.
Don’t change yourselfYes, your mother-in-law may have dreamt of a quiet, homely, daughter-in-law who can’t think of anything more exciting than dressing up in elaborate Indian outfits and wearing pounds of gold. But this may not be you. Don’t change who you are just to please your in-laws. You will only regret it later if you do and will build resentment towards them. Instead, be flexible so that all of you can be happy. Remember that no relationship will work without mutual compromises.
All they want is loveMost parents out there just want their children to love them. Now that you have two sets of parents, make sure to spread your love between both. Ask your spouse for tips on what they like most and incorporate that into your behavior. Give your mother-in-law extra hugs and buy your father-in-law a great gift for Father’s Day. Showing them some extra love won’t take too much of your time, but it will go a long distance in strengthening your relationship.